Covid 19 Blues

Two weeks ago,, a massive conflagration tore through the Rogue Valley. I finally drove through the fire zone, it's surreal. Entire city blocks in ashes and rubble. Kivan's old apartment building gone. All the green, lush Oregon underbrush, the blackberry and creeping vines, gone. The topography is stripped bare, revealing the bones of the hills and ravines. I see landscape i never knew was there.. It looks like a battlefield.  It's quite the backdrop for the grotesque antics of the mad king and his craven coterie. Tomorrow, he is going to nominate a Martha from The Handmaid's Tale to Ruth Bader Ginsburg's seat on the Supreme Court. 6 weeks to the election; I can't watch, it's too terrifying Meanwhile, the global pandemic still stalks the land.  Meanwhile, I sleep next to an inert, silent mass with a cold, closed heart. Is this really who I want to stand with as the world comes to an end? It In short, life is pretty fucking grim. Strangely, my job has been a

Sometimes we have to do a thing to find out the reason for it. Sometimes our actions are questions, not answers.

"I was sorry to hear about your furlough, that must be worrisome. You were picking up steam at the new job, bringing your valuable skills to the table in a way that was respectful and collaborative.  It's a fine line and you walk it well.  You always empower the people around you  my friend, lifting other up while keeping your own ego in check.  It's admirable and inspiring. Then this shit show came down. Fate is perverse right now.  Your were picking up steam at your  new job until the virus shut you down cold.  I was positioning myself for a graceful exit from my job until the virus slammed the door shut.  Who in their right mind would quick a job right now? Not me.  I'm not that brave. I wish you would harness your angst and write that album of folks songs.  I could play it in my car as a ran away from home, leaving this  mess in the rear view. We are all so tired and confused and deeply concerned. The maniac in the White House and his minions want to kill u

A short history of the American Century: I figure it began when the Doughboys came home from WWI; ramped up during the super-heated Jazz Age, faced a reckoning and found it's heart when FDR faced down the Depression; literally exploded during WWII; cruised into overdrive with the mid-century expansion; lost its optimism on Dealey Plaza;; lost its way in the jungles of Vietnam; lost its faith as Nixon lied; turned it's back on the masses as Reagan trickled down; surrendered to fear during Clinton's mass incarceration; perpetrated a bloody fraud of a war for Dick Cheney's profit, and finally crumbled under the insane ravings of a celebrity megalomaniac. And now, here we are at the ignominious end of the American Empire. One short century. Maybe Michael Stipe feels fine, but I don't. The American Empire is over. We are at an inflection point. Which way will we fall?

Posted today by the brilliant and beautiful Luis Alfaro: there are "those who are dying to get a haircut; and those who will die giving it." Which side are you on? O workers can you stand it? O tell me what it means To go to work and risk death Or starve in quarantine. Which side are you on boys? Which side are you on?

Quarantine dreams: I dreamed of my dear friends Jesse & Ellen.   We were hanging out together, I can’t remember why or what we were doing. I think we were wearing pajamas. Their baby Clementine, my little angel, was not present in the dream. The only thing I know for sure is I woke up saying this: “Am I the middle man in the middle of Middle Earth?” I have been pondering that all morning. What does it mean? Who is the middleman in Middle Earth?   Maybe Elrond? He is in the middle of the story but doesn’t really make things happen?   Maybe Galadriel? Maybe Gollum? Am I Gollum?  I am obsessed with holding on to a precious artifact: the past.   T hat obsession is defining and destroying me. I only see the damage in brief moments of clarity and mourning. I have dwindled to something twisted and sad. Who knows? I just know that it’s hard here. I didn't see this coming. I am not prepared